Last week I started my weekly challenge. It was no different from any other, it has a theme, it includes yellow... (those that know me will chuckle.) I pulled out papers, I started sorting thru pictures. I FOUND the perfect pictures, right off the top. It was a creative frenzy, the layout just flowed and at 12:30something am Saturday, September 11th, I stopped.
On September 11, Aaron would have been 38. On September 11, his class celebrated their 20 year class reunion. On September 11, Dave's uncle celebrated his birthday. On September 11, 2001 the world came crashing down.... Nine years ago. It doesn't seem terribly long ago, but yet..it seems ages ago. We have soldiers over seas fighting for something that, for some, barely remember if they're 19 this year. Nine years...loved ones lost, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles..growing up without. Nine years trying to heal, but wounds opened with new current events. Nine years of the realization hitting; they're not coming back.
Today, I read a face-book entry of a friend. She just had one of those moments when she realizes her beloved father isn't coming back. She'll never see him again. Yeah, I'm familiar with those moments. Have had them for twenty years. It stops you cold, mid breathe, frozen in time. At first it left me sad and full of despair. But then I looked at from another view... I started talking to Aaron when those moment hit me. In the car, doing dishes, in the shower... didn't matter where; I just talked. About what ever, life, the kids... After reading fb friends entry I realize that I've had "that moment" every single year on the exact same date. I kept a journal for a couple of years after Aaron died... I checked... I wrote about the "kick in the gut" feeling. I may have to redefine that "He's not coming back" thought... because it seems...He does.